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Heavy
My stomach feels as though it’s lined with a weight. Loaded up with rocks and set adrift in the ocean. I could lecture myself all day about the need to breathe and stay positive, but today just isn’t one of those days. Something in the air, perhaps. Or maybe it’s the number 13. I’ve always…
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The night shift
The longest day in the calendar is the one where you didn’t sleep the night before. It appears the gastro has descended on the house of Gooden. It made its appearance with the sounds of my toddler throwing up at midnight. And one am, two am, three am, four am, and then it was time…
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Citizen’s arrest
Do you have a permit for that anxiety? Sometimes it would be nice if a police officer could stop you for thinking nonsense. Someone to hold up their hand and blow a whistle, flag you down and give you a ticket. Say “back off, get your own sandwich”, or something similar. A thought blocker like…
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Warmth and silence
It was a grey and silent day where I am. A quiet work environment, with clouds that seemed to touch the ground. I felt the weight of silence on my soul today. The other shoe so close to dropping for one, two, several people. Beyond my reach and out of my control. I know enough…
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Thoughts about parenting at night after the children are in bed
I had no inkling Not a single clue Just how much children Could do to you One moment my life Went swimming along All by myself, Singing a song Worried about loneliness, But free as a bird I never thought I’d be surrounded by words Unceasing chatter, But full of delights They light up my…
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Burn the witch!
I’ve walked through today feeling guilty for some reason, like I forgot to do something. Like maybe I was tardy for an event, or stood someone up. It’s the feeling I’ve gotten in the past when I know that I’ve let someone down, but for the life of me, I can’t think of a single…
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Ten months
I just got a notification from bluehost, the company that owns my domain for thoughtsalad, reminding me that it was due for renewal in less than 60 days. When I first signed up to write my blog, it was as a personal challenge. I wanted to unload from the sometimes emotionally exhausting work that I…
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Horizon
The clouds obscure the edge, world dropping off unannounced The horizon stretches out, the distance pronounced We travel this world naked and alone wrapped in illusions that feel like home Unique to our experiences, no two the same, we struggle and learn, solitaire our game At the end of our journey, Our own judgement we…
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Blink
Tonight we went out for supper and a show. Stage west, our chance to have a delicious buffet that generally leaves us full of regret about our lack of willpower, and entertainment afterwards. I was looking forward to the night, a chance to spend time with friends and go out without the children, but I…
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Expiry date
It always comes as a shock The rusting of the vessel expiration dates That come too soon Tides and seasons wait For no one Life a series of blinks, Too soon flying away Another breath catches, Releases, Fades into the dark night Alone at the end, The body crumples Then lies silent, Waiting for the…