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Heavy
My stomach feels as though it’s lined with a weight. Loaded up with rocks and set adrift in the ocean. I could lecture myself all day about the need to breathe and stay positive, but today just isn’t one of those days. Something in the air, perhaps. Or maybe it’s the number 13. I’ve always…
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Goodnight
She said her goodbyes today Her “I’ve had a great life, and oh, the times I’ve had” I smiled and tried to brush the implications aside, said “I’ll see you next week.” She smiled, closed her eyes, but didn’t respond. Suddenly, just when I thought she’d fallen asleep, her eyes opened, sharpened, “Look after him…
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Leap
An aching hole left behind A cavity of space Between what is and what was Change is never easy Uncertainty brutal and unkind I laugh at my own hesitation And do nothing But wait until my time More each day I realize how short Life is Fleeting A run with a stopwatch Off a cliff…
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The dance
A faded corner in a crowd A silhouette without a face I look around for clarity But return empty from the chase The winter is cold and brutal My faith lacks for strength Each day drags with exhaustion No shortage in its length Some days last forever An eternity in a glance I close my…
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Burn the witch!
I’ve walked through today feeling guilty for some reason, like I forgot to do something. Like maybe I was tardy for an event, or stood someone up. It’s the feeling I’ve gotten in the past when I know that I’ve let someone down, but for the life of me, I can’t think of a single…
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Ten months
I just got a notification from bluehost, the company that owns my domain for thoughtsalad, reminding me that it was due for renewal in less than 60 days. When I first signed up to write my blog, it was as a personal challenge. I wanted to unload from the sometimes emotionally exhausting work that I…
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Horizon
The clouds obscure the edge, world dropping off unannounced The horizon stretches out, the distance pronounced We travel this world naked and alone wrapped in illusions that feel like home Unique to our experiences, no two the same, we struggle and learn, solitaire our game At the end of our journey, Our own judgement we…
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Weekly wrap up
Friday. A short week that felt so long. Sad goodbyes that felt so sudden, but when looking back they were anything but. Slowly climbing out of the deep freeze, then plunging back in. Children becoming bored and rambunctious near the end of their vacation from school, Asking if they can go tomorrow. New glasses, new…
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Adrift
Today I spent only part of the day at work. But I must confess, it felt like so much more. To hold the hand of someone when they’ve lost the love of their life, to just be there, is one of the most difficult parts of my job. Sometimes I feel like giving bad news…
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Aftermath
December 26th. The day after the ribbons and bows have been swept away and the leftovers nearly stacked in containers in the fridge. Like any big event, the aftermath is sometimes uncomfortable. I have a proclivity for introspection, and find myself wondering why the feeling of a balloon bursting so often follows the build up…