Today was my first child’s birthday.

The one who changed my life

in indescribable ways.

I’m as guilty as every other first time parent out there

who didn’t “get it”

until the moment that first tiny human broke all the rules.

No longer was I free to sleep or exercise in my free time.

Nice clothing is a distant memory,

as is my prepregancy body.

The girl who was in control and on top of things

has long ago been replaced

by a tired woman with the ability

to drink an entire pot of coffee

long before the sun is up.

But that same girl has found her horizons

have also expanded

beyond anything she thought possible.

My heart aches at the sight of them

tucked into bed.

I miss them when I’m away

for more than a few hours,

even when I return home

to find them fighting like wild animals.

I’ve never laughed this much in my life,

Or cried this much either.

Everything since my first child entered my life

is bigger, louder, wilder,

Softer, snugglier, cuter.

The distance between happy and sad is a giant gulf,

Which can be bridged in seconds by a child,

From the absolute depths of despair

to the heights of happiness.

My birthday baby told me today

“Mom! My voice is deeper now!”

When I asked why, I got “the look”-

“You know! It’s because I’m OLDER now.”

S’cuse me!

I should know that, of course.

We sang happy birthday

and had cake and pizza and gifts.

It’s been seven years already,

even though it was only a few days ago

When I first looked them in the eye,

my beautiful child,

and said “hello there, I’m your mommy”

I’m so grateful for all the time I’ve had,

and I look forward to every

happy, crazy, sad, irritating, wonderful moment.

Happy birthday Alex. I love you❤️