On a day like today I find myself struck by how different a day can be depending on the circumstances with which it unfolds.

One day can be stressful, 

dramatic or traumatic, 

leave one feeling exhausted and overwhelmed, 

alone and against the odds.

The same day with people around you helping goes by fast, 

everyone working towards a common goal or purpose, sharing the load. 

I feel very lucky, 

to like the people I spend my time with. 

We work together to make lives better, each and every one a different job 

but necessary.

From the person who makes the food to the one who bathes or dresses, the one who holds the hands or provides an ear to listen, or the exercises to strengthen limbs

Every person valuable,

Everyone indispensable.

It breaks my heart when I hear one put down another,

 via social media or word of mouth, tearing down the “other” 

to build up the “self”

either through jealousy, 

superiority or


That way breeds arrogance, 


 fractured teamwork that injuries everyone, 

making the day more painful and isolated. 

But today we are a team, 

and enjoy the fruits of a job well done.

Together we can change the world, one person at a time.


There are some words that just tickle my fancy.  Knackered is right up there at the top.  Today, it’s the word of the day prompt.  I’ve been faithfully doing these every day, no matter what else I have going on. Some days it’s been a stretch trying to figure out where to put it and what to say, which has inspired some of my more ranty posts, fyi.

Knackered is how I’ve felt a lot lately, although I think I’m finally starting to turn a corner with two big changes.

1) I cut back running to every other day, which was a very adult move on my part.  I really didn’t want to, but I’m happy I did. This has also allowed me to sleep in until 5:30 some days, which is helping with catching up on sleep. (That thing that kids take from you.  Sacrifices, right?)

2)I’ve changed my diet and caffeine intake.  I’m trying out eating a  lower carbohydrate diet these days, with the fear of  turning into my diabetic ancestors looming ever closer….  and strangely, I’ve been feeling more awake.  Even with the decreased caffeine.  Less knackered,  slightly sluggish instead?

I’m sure a large part of my unwillingness to get up some mornings is due to the grey weather squatting over my corner of the world for the last few weeks. Just about the time I started to get excited about spring, it took three steps back to February.

On the plus side, I got back the months that just whizzed by.  At least when it comes to the weather.

Between the weather and all the balls  I’ve been juggling so far this year, it’s no wonder the K word has been prominent in my head.   I’m starting to get better at reminding myself to be kind to me too, and that means I’m really looking forward to the two days off I took in May.

( This is what I do to myself.  Every time I take a week off, it turns into two days      actually off, the rest into part-time work at the assisted living place I attend.  I can’t leave “my people”.  I just can’t. This makes my husband crazy, but I’m still trying to get that work-life balance.  I am, really.)

I  leave for Toronto again next weekend, which means a weekend away from the kids and work and everything except education.

My favourite part is the plane ride, because no one can call or ask me for anything, and for a few hours Im cut off completely from the outside world.  Like a flying solitary padded cell.  Mmmmmmm.

This always feels so indulgent until I actually get there and classes start at 6 am my time, and last all day Saturday and half the day Sunday when I leave for the airport to fly home.  It’s the first time I’ve really been away from my entire brood, and it is simultaneously refreshing and so difficult.

This time I’m running behind though, and I still have an assignment to finish and paperwork to do. My wish-list is to write and read for pleasure, but that crazy adult is going to make me do my should instead of want-to’s. Crazy lady keeps winning the fight.

Maybe once I’m done being so knackered I’ll get back to having people ask what kind of crack I’m on.  Sadly, its been about six years since the last time I was asked that question.  This either means I’m getting old or that the kids  sucked the crack right out of me.  Maybe via placental transfusion?

Either way, the sun better come out soon and start giving me a hand.  Enough of this gloomy stuff already!

No more knackered, bring on the good Craic!












But really

Hollywood Philosopher

I’ve been watching a lot of X-Files lately.  Its been helping me get through my morning treadmill sessions, which in turn help me get through my days.   Its funny how I don’t want to wake up, but if I do and force myself to start my run,  after about 10 minutes it gets relatively comfortable and easy.   And by the time I’ve finished, I’m quite pleased with myself for a few reasons. One, I actually did what I wanted myself to do for health and sanity reasons. Two,  I physically feel more awake and healthy.

But back to X-Files.  I remember the show from 20 years ago vaguely, and remember a few episodes more clearly (the sewer monster, ew).  I also remember that I lost interest around season 3 or 4, mostly because I totally couldn’t follow the Alien sub-theme. This is tough to do when you are seeing re-runs and missing episodes, and also as a teenager I didn’t really get why “the Man” was such a jerk so drifted away.

Now that I’m re-watching (binge watching, actually) as an adult I am  struck by a few main things.

First point- Oh my God the clothes! and the HAIR!  Scully actually always looks good, but Mulder had some interesting jean and hair combos that screamed nineties like nothing outside of Friends would have pulled. Seriously hilarious.  Especially when he’s running after aliens and what not.

But the larger, more interesting thing that I’m seeing now is that overt “trust no one” theme.  I have to wonder how much of this has seeded itself into the way my generation approaches the world in general.

People no longer trust authority.  Sure, the sixties were a real overthrow in modern North America, but mostly it wasn’t about destroying banks or smart people.  What I see all around me, since the birth of the internet maybe? is that people do not trust other people to do their job, or know what they are talking about.

And its everywhere doctors, nurses, police, military, engineers,education, politicians etc.  With information being everywhere at the touch of your hand on your smart phone, you can access almost anything quickly.  Anyone is able to be googled, so hopefully nothing comes back to bite you from twenty years ago when you were young and less cautious.  People mostly have access to the same information now as the specialists, people who’ve trained for years in their field, and believe that they are as capable to make the same choices and understand the same materials.

Was it like this in the 70’s, 80’s?  People have always had distrust of some things, but it seems to me that it is now EVERYTHING. I think we all do this a bit, and I wonder if it started back in the nineties, with X-files.  I’m on season four right now, and I’ll let you know if I figure it out by season eight, ok?

But one thing I know for sure- no matter how smart I am  I do not think I can fix my car.  That’s what my Dad is for.

Trust no one.



The world continues to spin wildly, slightly tilted and off centre.

Is that the reason why things make so little sense sometimes?

I open up my world, read the news, things that happen around the world and wonder

I wonder why people are so cruel,

wonder how they can justify this behaviour to others.  Didn’t anyone teach them it was wrong? didn’t anyone teach them to use their words? turn the other cheek? love thy neighbour?

Religion attempts to show us how to be kind and loving,

yet it so often fails badly, with the religious using their God as a weapon instead of the swaddling cloth it should be

the Secular among us hold up money as their god, or health, or other valuables

chasing down the secret of life

in whatever way they believe it to exist

We are old wool sweaters, yarn snagging,

unraveling in the reality we live in.

Trying to patch it up, as it’s the only one we have.

I wish I could knit it together, heal the sweater of the world and make it stronger and more unified.

But I can only crochet, and I make blankets to keep my loved ones warm.

Maybe some day I’ll learn how. But for now, I hide deeper under my cozy cover and read a good book instead of the awful news.


via Daily Prompt: Unravel


I’ve spent my life an observer, a visitor from beyond.

Perhaps this isn’t my first go around this green planet, and maybe it’s not my last

I’ve been an outlier, and outsider


As a child others didn’t understand my meanings, not catching the sense of humour that was sometimes bizarre

Even now, I teach my kids to say ‘I’m so funny’ while I laugh and laugh.

The world has always tickled my sense of the ridiculous

often at inappropriate times.

the shape of a corner, the colour of a shirt next to something that clashes, grammar that is ridiculous,

anything could set me off.

Once, I made an entire squadron of air cadets laugh until they cried. And I still never knew what caused the giggles to infect us all.

Humour is the amazing best friend of Love, the two huge joys that fill our lives,

that make the storms worth weathering.

So while it may keep me slightly off centre, off the bubble,

I will enjoy it when it hits,

and laugh like no one is judging

via Daily Prompt: Outlier


The hardest thing to do

When each day is through 

Is to look into your soul

To find your life’s true goal

Each thought has its own weight

Bound to you by the hand of fate 

It looks you in the eye

And dares you to tell a lie

Stronger than guile,

Bursting through denial

Life will find a way

To ensure it has the chance

To kick you in the pants

So pick yourself up off the ground

And go another round

Early morning Pause

I sit, bleary eyes half closed. Trying to figure out my coffee maker which is set to magically go off at 4:30, so that the smell of the delicious beans will entice me to wake up instead of hit my snooze button repeatedly.

I succeed and try not to trip over the dog who has suddenly decided to be underfoot, when seconds before they were across the room. Silly dog, that’s a good way to kill us both.

Warmth flows down my chest into my stomach and I feel myself wake up by increments, smelling the richness of the beans. Only an hour late on my schedule, I remind myself it’s Sunday, and I’m not in a hurry.



inhale deeply

morning solitude helps me to regenerate and power up for a day of demands from those around me. Those I love, those I’m responsible to. This time is mine, for me to listen to myself, take care of my needs.

at least until I hear the wail of my youngest, calling for me. My quiet time is over,

time for snuggles instead.